- I don't like being pregnant. The worst thing is having to eat every 2-3 hours when nothing sounds good. Every type of food repulses me and I've learned that I have to force myself to eat. If I can keep it down, I need to eat it. Regardless. And that is SO obnoxious! I can't eat any sweets at all which is depressing. Just last night I had a dream that I had gallons of different kinds of ice cream all around me and I went to town devouring them. I woke up to find Lance had a bowl of ice cream when I was sleeping and he left the evidence of a dirty bowl on the coffee table. Just jealous, that's all.
- I've never had hunger pains in my life like this. Yeah, I know the occasional stomach growl but these are no stomach growls. These are true hunger pains. And these pains wake me up once or twice a night to tell me to eat. If I ignore it or accidentally fall back asleep, the hunger pains assault me again only worse to the point of throwing up. Again, obnoxious.
- I have been sick. Nauseous and throwing up. Why is this a problem besides the obvious discomfort? Well, for at least another month I'm still the bread winner until Lance finishes his insurance course and can start his new position. I haven't even worked 20 hours last week or this week. It's impossible which makes me quite worried because at the same time I don't have any other choice. Luckily dad is my employer who is very understanding and hasn't fired me. Yet. Last week I did call the doctor and let them know the predicament. They suggested I try half a B6 and half a unisom for the nausea which didn't work so well. After two days I called back and demanded something better so they gave me a prescription for Zofran. This pill works but I still have problems with it or maybe I should say I still have the pregnancy symptoms and it's hard for me to decipher the two.
- My brain has gone to mush. I can't focus or concentrate. Working has become really hard. I thought I'd gone crazy until Lance's mom and sister told me they had the same thing when they were pregnant.
- I have zero energy. Even after I shower I've got to have at least an hour nap. I sleep well at night (besides the hunger pains waking me to eat) and even sleep longer than usual, but still have no energy. I have to sit all the time. Walking from room to room is very limited and standing is out of the question. Needless to say, Lance has been in charge of dishes and laundry because I simply can't do it. And no, don't come over to visit. The house is a total mess and it's really embarrassing because I can't do anything about it. It's all exhausting.
- I avoid going out in public at all costs. I'm so afraid of going outside the house without my barf bucket. (I even took it with me to the girls night at mom's). I feel vulnerable without my bucket buddy so he's my constant companion. I even took my mom with me grocery shopping and other than driving a few blocks to work, I don't go anywhere by myself.
- Other than the physical aspect, how is being pregnant? I don't know because I'm miserable all the time and the baby is too small to kick or hiccup or hear the heart beat. So I feel like a regular person that has been constantly sick. I don't deal well with pain or sickness, which should be obvious, but I honestly just want to be normal again. I want to eat normal and work normal and sleep normal and socialize normal. I was at a store the other day with my sister in law and the owner said, "You are the most depressing pregnant woman I've ever seen!" True. I can't deny that. And I'm a terrible actress which also makes this hard for Lance.
- I've come to loathe the word pregnant, preggo, preg, preggy, and any other variation of the word. Please don't call me that.
- Everybody laughs at me. My mom, the boys, Lance, the sisters, Christine, and even Kerry. The ones allowed to laugh are those that have been pregnant before. If you haven't and especially if you're a guy, don't even think about it. I know I look pathetic, I know I sound pathetic. But again, I don't deal well with this stuff and I'm trying my best here!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Heh?
I have started so many posts about being pregnant but end up deleting them all. I've had to sort through my feelings and yet I still feel so confused. So here are my random thoughts and feelings and I still don't know what some of them mean.
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8 comments:
Life (and pregnancy) looks much, MUCH different after you're done with the sickness part. No one can predict when it'll end, but when it does and you start to get that cute baby belly and feel the baby kicking and hear the heartbeat, that's when it's all worth it. And to see him/her for the first time. Oh my goodness. You'll gladly do it again. Just take my word for it. :) I remember that feeling and how I told Todd that we may not have another child. Of course I feel much differently now and I know you will too once you're past it...just gotta get through these days. Hang in there, you're doing great!
You. can. do. it!
When I was pregnant with my first, I swore I wouldn't do it again. Then AJ was born and I changed my mind. Although, this (my FOURTH.. ugh) pregnancy sounds SOOO similar to yours Becky. I'm so sorry because I know the only way to curb the obnoxious hunger pains, is to eat. Eat food that you don't want to eat. It sucks. And this pregnancy for me has sucked. I'm so sorry. It WILL get [somewhat] better. It took me up until about 16 weeks and since then I haven't been sick (naseaus sick) anymore. I know that no words of support or experience really help, just know that it really will be worth it. I promise. :) (((HUGS!)))
Sorry you're having to deal with all the sickness. I have only thrown up once but I have the worst nausea and GERD. Smells and different foods really set it off, Taco Bell makes me sick just thinking about it. Small meals are really the key my best friends during the first three months were saltine crackers, orange juice, ginger ale, and peppermint candies or lifesavers (that helped to fight the terrible bad breath I had)
I still have to do small meals because at 7 months the the baby really pushes on my stomach and so the GERD never really goes away. Fruits are the best right now especially strawberries and peaches. I still eat very little meat and have to watch it on spicy and italian foods. The good knews is once I had K and started breast-feeding my appetite and food tolerance returned to normal very quickly. The hardest part is getting through the sickness at the beginning. Hang in there!
First of all, you're right, it sucks. I am the worst pregnant person and when I said I was done after two, I was, largely because being pregnant was sooo horrible. As my mother says, your body doesn't like being pregnant. And I used to HATE it when people said "oh, it will get better soon!" all cheerily because, guess what, it didn't. I was sick right up until the end with both. I love my boys but I DETEST being pregnant!
So, here's my advice: acupuncture. I did it with both and it worked all kinds of wonders. Really. I went to a five element specialist who does talking and then needles and it was like therapy and treatment all rolled into one. I loved it, even though I am not a new agey medicine person at all. For some reason, it really helped.
Then, Zofran was my savior. It really does work. If it's not working right now, then tell them to double your dose. You can always dial it down later, once you start to get the nausea under control. I was taking it til the bitter end with both boys, so sick I was.
Next, find a food you can eat, any food, and just eat it every time you get hungry. For me, it was frozen mandarin oranges and animal crackers. I could eat those any time, any place without being instantly sick. Why? Who knows. But they worked to keep me from exacerbating my own nausea. I stumbled onto them randomly one day in desperation but now I wish I had tried to figure out what worked earlier so I wouldn't have been so miserable for so long.
Orbit gum. For some reason, it helps with the heartburn, bad tastes in the mouth, feeling sick, etc. Chrystal A. swore by it, too. There are many flavors and some made me feel worse, so try some out before you buy cases, which I did! And the flavor I could stand changed between pregnancies, weirdly.
I was working when I was pregnant the first time, too, and you can only do so much. My friend whose husband was in school and who was working while she was pregnant the first time as well threw up in her car several times. With a lot of febreeze, it all went away! Do what you can and don't stress; that just makes you feel worse!
If I can think of anything else, I'll send it your way, but I totally get not wanting to come to SC right now. Matt went to Peru during my first trimester and I couldn't go because my passport never arrived but looking back, it would have been a nightmare to travel then, so it was all for the best! We'll wait for you to come out with a new kiddie, a whole new kind of fun!
Hang in there! It is so not fun - but it does end... just doesn't feel like it right now :(
Oh I am so sorry!! I wish I could be one of those encouraging posts that say "don't worry--it does get better..." but I'm still trying to tell myself that and it isn't working. 26 weeks and still worshipping the porceline throne. Zofran and phenegran are my drug cocktail and to be honest it still doesn't work...the phenegran just knocks me out so I'm not awake to throw up.
I feel horrible saying it but I have hated being pregnant...I have to keep telling myself it will be worth it once the boys get here.
I can relate to everything you wrote about and again...am so sorry! Good husbands are a blessing though and dishes and laundry can wait for them! :-)
I hope you get some relief and can enjoy pregnancy for both of us! :-) We are so excited for you!!!
Ugh I just typed this big ol' long comment agreeing with you and saying how I wasn't going to give any advice because that is the thing I hate worse than anything is someone saying they understand and the only thing that helps is blah blah blah.
I completely understand though! I'm still sicker than sick and wish I could be one of those comments that can tell you it does end and it is worth it....26 weeks and I'm still struggling. Work..smurk! I am hoping to make it 10 more weeks without getting fired.
Zofran does add extra problems if you know what I'm talking about. Toss up which is worse. LOL My drug cocktail is Zofran and phenegran--still doesn't help a whole lot--just knocks me out so I'm not awake which means I can't throw up.
I can completely relate to every single bullet point you mentioned though...and all I can say is hang in there...I hope it is worth it. LOL j/k I know it will be but I sure do not like being pregnant.
We are so excited for you though! Aren't great husbands totally amazing!!
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