My Bebe

Last week was a good one. I tried catching up on sleep since the trip to Boise and ALL the worrying the few previous days before that trip really took a toll on me. Especially mentally and physically. I really tried to readjust myself back into the every day mom stuff and started to feel hopeful. After all, three of the four concerns were addressed and are no longer concerns. hurray!

For church we went to Michael Kezele's mission farewell which was awesome. After the meeting the same doctor came up to Lance and I to see how we were doing. I was impressed he'd go out of his way and ask that, it was thoughtful. Until I heard the rest of the words which completely ruined my day! He put doubt and fear back into my mind about those four concerns of the baby. He acted again like it was some huge emergency and that he was really worried for us, in a weird way.

I didn't like it at all. Just when I was getting my hope and peace of mind back and settling back into my normal routine life, he had to dash my dreams again! I was upset all day. I didn't talk about it or really let it out until Lance and I went to bed and then I just cried and cried. Lance stayed up and we talked for a while. I expressed all of my fears and doubts. I just bawled at the thought of losing this precious little girl and couldn't quit crying. I cried all night.

So now I have to somehow quell those doubts and concerns and hold onto the hope. I'm constantly on my knees begging for the Lord to intervene. I just love this little girl so much and want nothing more than to hold her and kiss her and see her face and cuddle with her.