Thursday, October 13, 2016


Last week I ended up in the ER, unfortunately it was while Lance was out of town for work and the nanny was sick. I had to call in some favors from friends to help me out that day. I was too dehydrated and couldn't stop throwing up so I was at the ER for seven hours getting fluids and meds. It was awful.

The next day was my first appointment with my OB doctor and we received lots of good news. The baby is measuring one week bigger than my dates so they bumped my due date to May 13, 2017. I tell you it was like Christmas morning hearing that!! He said it's been a long time since he's had a patient with Hyperemesis Gravidarum as severe as mine; he ordered a picc line to be placed for hydration and nutrition and a home health care company to help me with it. Meaning, a nurse comes to the house and teaches me how to administer fluids so I can do it on my own instead of having go to the ER every other day. He also said I'd be a good candidate to do a VBAC.

This passed Monday was the worst day to date - Lance was out of town for work again so when I got the picc line placed I was all on my own. To make matters worse it was a day of relentless vomiting, it just would not stop. After I got home from having the picc line placed it was 1:00 and I was so looking forward to a nap to escape the vomiting. It didn't work. I couldn't get fluids until the home health nurse came to show me how to do it and she wasn't scheduled to come until 3-5pm. The waiting was unbearable and the day was just so awful, everything about it. She didn't get to the house until 5:30, the nanny was watching two extra kids at our house, Lance was still out of town, and I was just dying. Just dying!

The nurse tried teaching me and explaining how to administer the meds and fluids but my mind was so far gone, the only thing I could focus on was getting the fluids. Long story short, I finally got fluids at 7pm which did make the vomiting stop although I was still nauseous. It was just the worst day. THE WORST!!

Monday, October 3, 2016

Woe Is Me

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and in the woe is me stage. I was doing pretty good for a bit and as week 5 approached things gradually changed. I was a bit nauseous, tired, and started to get weak throughout the day. Week 6 proved to bring the nausea on with greater force and with no family in town, I had to find a nanny type girl to help me with the kids during the day. There goes my savings. Week 7 I've started throwing up and last night I was in urgent care waiting for IV fluids.

I'm in the state of mind wondering why in the world did I choose to go through this again?! WHY??? I'm so stinking miserable and so sick. I'm not involved with the kids at all and feel pretty guilty about it. I'll never understand why being pregnant has to be so dang hard but one thing is for sure, there's only one way to bring children into this world. Thus my utter misery.

I did get a blessing last week and I remember faith and sacrifice and the atonement being mentioned. We've prayed for guidance in making this decision as I ultimately left it up to lance. His response was, "I think I'd have regrets if we didn't have one more." Well, I don't want my husband to have regrets in his life, especially about children, and so after 6 months we are finally in my current state of just-kill-me-now. I do know this will be the last, that decision was made by me before we got pregnant and I'm even more resolved now that this is the last one.

Heaven help me! I need all the help I can get right now!