Monday, January 30, 2012
It's a nostalgic feeling looking back through all of them.......I've already forgotten how small he was, I miss his hair now that its fallen out, whenever his eyes were open he always wrinkled his eyebrows, and his pointy ears have now rounded out. He's lost some of his newborn-ness and its sad for his mama.
Thanks SO MUCH to Emily for doing it for us!!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
- I want to create a Mud room sort of area by the back door. Technically there's not a separate room but we definitely need a place for muddy shoes, jackets, gardening gloves and buckets, etc. And I'm going to try to get it done out of a few old doors, complete with a padded bench that opens up for storage.
- ABC blocks so I can finish an area of Kimball's room I've been working on.
- Last summer I bought a child's school desk at a yard sale for $1. It's currently Lance's nightstand and I bought all the supplies last year to redo it, just haven't had time with the pregnancy and now new baby. But I will get to it soon. I also bought a little side table at the same yard sale for $5, I need to redo that one as well.
I've got a few projects finished this past weekend that I need to document, that will be coming soon. And the super cute branches/leaves from the Amy Butler pattern....I'm finishing that on Tuesday with mom, so excited! Most craft posts to come.
On the same note about projects, during the summer Lance knocked out the porch windows and doors to open it up. It looks so much better! I keep forgetting to post a picture so I'll try to do that soon, I'm only 6 months overdo. Also, a few weeks ago I painted the living room ceiling and Lance put up crown molding. It looks good but we're not quite finished with it yet. I'm trying to convince Lance that we need to repaint the whole room. Initially I just thought we'd touch it up and I do love the chocolate brown color but its really dark. Dark walls and limited lighting drives me crazy in the evenings because we can have all the lights on in the house and its still really dim in there. We'll see if I can convince him, but the catch is, he'll want me to paint.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Sacrament meeting wasn't too bad but I did hand him off to Lance eventually because he was fussy. Not like him. Sunday school came and he was still fussing. Odd, he's usually conked out after he eats so I thought I'd take advantage of sunday school and feed him again so I can listen to the RS lesson. He slept for about 5 minutes before starting to fuss again. I tried to get him to sleep but to no avail. I was done. Had it. I passed him off to Lance. I should have gone home instead of going back to RS. Then the meltdown started and I tried to suppress it but a few tears still leaked out. I was too upset to even listen to the lesson but I tried. As soon as church was over and I got into the car the flood gates opened.
I thought I could handle going back to church. Easy, right? He was fed and would sleep the whole time. Why didn't he? My excitement to listen and feel the spirit totally disappeared. I don't know what the heck I'm doing and its so frustrating! I feel so bad for Kimball because he has to have a mom like me that's totally clueless and can't even handle church. I look around and see tons of moms with 4-7 kids and a newborn to take care of. They can handle it so why can't I? To them the whole mothering thing comes with the snap of a finger and its as natural as the sun coming up every morning. They don't have stupid meltdowns like me and pass their kids off to their husbands. They can handle anything. I see tons of moms who are skinny and yet here I am gaining weight instead of losing which is a whole other problem in itself. I don't want to get any comments on here that I'm already so small and such and don't need to lose weight. That's incorrect. Every woman I know loses weight after having a baby. Not me, I've been gaining weight after having Kimball and even though I'm petite I still need to lose weight. I feel gross!
What's my problem? Why can't I figure any of this out like the other moms? Its so disheartening because I love being a mom but its so dang hard at the same time. I wouldn't trade Kimball for the world, he's my everything! I just wish other moms wouldn't make it look so easy. I'd like to see one of them have a meltdown. I'd like to see one of them pass off the baby to the husband. I'd like to see one of them call their maternity pants their skinny jeans after they had their baby. I'd like to see them in pajamas with no hair or makeup done and a tear stained face. I'd like to see them on the edge of upset and frustrated. Maybe I'd feel more sure about what I'm doing because I'm pretty sure they've been the #1 mom from the get-go.
Later on Kimball was ready for bed around 8:00 and I hadn't had a nap at all. Perfect, now is my time to catch up on sleep and time for Lance to visit his parents since he'd been helping me all day and needed a break too. Within two minutes I was just about to the land of bliss when Kimball started crying. Ugh, what?! He should be sleeping, why is he awake? Insert meltdown here. So I bawled and tried to sleep with him on the recliner. Well, Kimball slept but I didn't. In the meantime Hero Sir Lancelot came home to the rescue from his parent's house. I didn't want to burden him anymore so I just said I'd lay with Kimball a little longer while Lance cut his hair and showered. I finally put Kimball back in his crib and I crept off to join Lance in bed only to hear Kimball crying again once I laid my head down on the pillow. Insert meltdown here. So I fed Kimball and bawled the entire time. Surprisingly he ate quickly and I went to bed.
I don't know what's wrong with me today. I just couldn't couldn't do it, at all. Any attempt I made at trying was shot down. Maybe Kimball just wanted his dad, I don't know. Whatever reason it is, I'm SO SO thankful for Lance. Not only did he take care of Kimball, it was all the little things in between. He came outside and helped me into the house from church. He did the dishes and even washed all the big stuff by hand. He swept the kitchen. He even wiped down the counters which he doesn't do. He came home early from his parent's. He came into Kimball's room to check on me every time I had a meltdown.
I hate having all these meltdowns. I hate feeling jealous of all the moms and women out there who make it look so easy. I love Lance and I love Kimball. Today was just not my day and my Hero Sir Lancelot kept me sane.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
"Children aren't inconveniences to be managed. They are gifts from heaven. A symbol of trust between you and the Father."
Sunday, January 15, 2012
As a side note, we are making our blog private so that I can create posts like this without having to worry. If you want to keep following our blog, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.