During the women's session this last conference I was excited to hear from our prophet directly and then he issued a four part challenge: To read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, take a 10 day social media fast, attend the temple more frequently, and fully participate in Relief Society. My initial reaction was that this was going to be a piece of cake, but as I watched President Nelson's talk for a second time and was reminded of the specifics, I was annoyed.
The more I thought and stewed about it, the more annoyed I became. All the points were going to be easy for me except to read the BOM. I kept thinking to myself, why? Why more? Here we already have FHE every week, scripture study with the kids every night, I do my own study as I prepare for my sunday school lessons every week.......so how can I add one more additional study item??? Give me a break, I'm already doing all that I can and I just don't think this is possible. When am I supposed to have "me" time? ME TIME = Time for myself where I don't have to use my brain. And no, reading the BOM is not me time, because I don't understand the scriptures that easily so I have to pick apart every verse and look up every cross reference to understand what is being said. That takes a lot of brain effort on my part, as ridiculous as it may sound, and that's the last thing I want to be doing after long days with the kids. So.....I was annoyed and grumbling under my breath. Trish's advice was that for her she has to make it a part of her daily routine and doesn't allow herself any me time unless her BOM portion is read for the day. That does make sense and is a good idea.
I also talked with Julie about it and as she validated my feelings what she said really struck me. She said a challenge is supposed to be hard, yes, this is a challenge! It's going to be hard and I'm going to have to make sacrifices to do it. She reiterated the specific blessings as we accepted this challenge,
specific prophetic blessings. She told me that we can text each other every day to make sure we get our reading in for the day, to keep each other accountable and on track. She said even if I didn't finish the BOM by the end of the year (at this point I was already behind in the reading schedule and I had a lot to catch up on) then I will have at least tried it. And if I did something, which is better than nothing, then I will have received a portion of the spirit that I wouldn't have gotten if I didn't attempt anything. True. All very, very true and valid points. After
a lot of heavy sighing and complaining, I told her I would try it.
The first week was hard just trying to fit it into my routine and I knew if I read at night it would be pointless, I'm too tired and can't concentrate at night.So I sacrificed my nap/quiet time and did my reading first. That's a BIG sacrifice for me but I did it and you know what? I even liked it! I knew there was going to be times when reading just wasn't practical (like when Donna came to visit, or the entire week of thanksgiving) so I always read extra so that I wouldn't fall behind again. Towards the end I even had to slow it way down or I'd finish super early and I wanted to stretch it out.
I came to look forward to my reading every day. It wasn't a chore or a burden, but a time of relief and reflection. As Julie and I texted each other we also shared specific insights or doctrine that we'd learned and I LOOOOVED that! I've never read the BOM that fast before, and no I didn't look up every foot note, but I loved every minute and am so thankful for Trish and Julie in helping me not only attempt, but successfully complete the prophet's challenge.
I've also been really poor at temple attendance because it's such a hassle to find babysitters! The last few times I've gone it's always without Lance because he's always working. The last time I went was four months ago on my birthday - Lance asked what I wanted and I told him nothing other than to go to the temple. But I also wanted to make it a point to go in December as I finished this challenge. It was important for me to show my Heavenly Father that I was and am doing this challenge whole-heartedly. I got a babysitter and had a remarkable feeling in the temple as I went a few weeks ago, it was amazing.
As I've reflected on this challenge I realized I still have one thing left to do. Probably the most important thing. I needed to repent. Here I am grumbling and murmuring against the prophet! Who am I to do that? It's one thing to not accept the challenge but to be complaining about it?! It left me feeling so sick inside and my stomach was twisted into knots. So many scriptures came to mind: "for mine elect hear my voice and harden not their hearts." That didn't describe me. "Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants it is the same." Yep, I was murmuring against the prophet AND Heavenly Father. "They did obey and observe to perform every word of
command with exactness." That wasn't me either.
As I repented in December and made further sacrifices to demonstrate my willingness to follow the Lord's will and my desire to do so, I had the most wonderful feeling. It actually happened the minute I crossed walked into the celestial room as I went to the temple that day. I knew Heavenly Father knew of my heart and desires and my penitence. I knew he accepted my sacrifices. I tasted of his love. I'm so thankful for friends and family to push me to become better. I'm thankful for President Nelson's challenge and the way it has changed me, the inspirations I received as I read the BOM and the things that I learned about myself.
