Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Tender Mercies From My Five Year Old

Let me preface this journal entry by saying that Kimball is my sensitive child. He's not a risk taker or a dare devil, he likes things to be planned and prepared. Some might call him a pansy or a wimp but he's not, he's just my sensitive child who's always concerned for others.

Today was not one of my better days. I was tired, weak, and nauseous all day and when I feel yucky then my patience is next to nothing. I wasn't a good mom today. I sighed a lot in the annoyed are-you-kidding-me-why- is-this-happening-right-now tone, I yelled and was super grumpy, and was not a nice mom. I finally just lost it as the kids were fighting me trying to get them to bed. I had a meltdown and just couldn't stop crying.

Kimball came in the living room and saw me fall to pieces. What happened next was nothing short of a miracle. Kimball began apologizing for not eating his dinner (a very sore spot an hour previous) and said from now on he'd always eat whatever I fixed for him. He apologized for making me cry and I felt that I owed him an explanation. I tried explaining that even though we are happy to have another baby that the baby makes me very sick and sometimes when I'm not feeling very good I have hard days and lose my patience. I apologized to him for not being very nice, for not being the fun mom anymore, for yelling and losing my patience. I told him how much I loved him and that he would always be my best buddy.

Somehow in that moment Kimball grew into a wise 30 year old man who was filled with nothing but compassion for me. He started using a lot of hand gestures as he spoke and very matter-of-factly said he was sorry the baby makes me sick but not to worry because one day the baby will come out and I'll feel better. He said not to worry about Cora, that he'd take care of her and help her and I wouldn't have to worry about her. He said he loves the baby. He thanked me for letting a baby grow inside of me even though I get very sick. He told me again how much he loved me and all I could do was sob and hold him in a tight hug as long as he'd let me. He even rubbed my back to get me to stop crying.

Such a tender mercy from my sweet and forgiving five year old boy who proved to be much wiser than I ever knew. Oh how I love my little buddy!!!

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