Happy 2nd Birthday Kimball!

Kimball's 2nd birthday was Saturday but with the ward halloween party going on, we celebrated it on Sunday. Unfortunately, it was the day we met with the stake president before church so Kimball didn't get a nap. I'm sure he would have enjoyed the balloons and birthday celebration much more fully if he'd had a nap, poor boy. Which is why in most of the pictures he's not smiling but he really did have a good birthday. We just got him a coloring book and pj's, he got some candy from Grandma Cox and money to go to a really cool local toy store to pick out his own toy, and from Grandma Pettingill he got a cool connecting train set that lights up and makes noise. Right now Kimball and the train are inseparable.

I'm pretty proud of the cake simply because it isn't a traditional 9X13" cake that we grew up with. (Not that those weren't just as delicious). I made a devil's food with my favorite chocolate frosting. Mmmmmm, it was SO GOOD!!! And Kimball cried when he finished his cake.  :)  That means it was a success!

This video is weird. Donna wanted to be part of the festivities and watch Kimball open gifts so she was doing facetime with Lance on his phone while I'd put the camera on the coffee table to capture everything. Then Lance sat in front of the camera while we were singing and didn't know I'd already started the camera, so our happy birthday song got all messed up. Then Donna was concerned about taking pictures of her iPad with her smart phone........next time we'll just do the pictures and videos on our own and email it to anyone that wants to see it. ;) It just ended up weird, lol.

Halloween Festivities

As most know, we are big on Halloween. But this year we just attended our ward's Trunk or Treat and are calling that our holiday. We have too much going on right now and Kimball is too young to understand what trick or treating is or costumes. Here's his little dragon hand-me-down costume. At first he didn't like it, then he thought the little claws were intriguing and he was ok with wearing it. When we got to the church, he was very mellow and low key all night. I think it was all too much and overstimulating for him. Even doing the trunk or treating he didn't know what to do. But at least we celebrated a little bit and Lance and I had a good time with the ward.

This is baby girl's costume, she's a mummy. I found the idea on pinterest which doesn't look as cute as it did on the website. I think because the muslin blended in too well with my shirt but it did look better in person. And Lance wasn't being a party pooper not dressing up, he literally got home from work right as Kimball and I were walking out the door so I'm just glad he could go with us.

What A Goober

I wish I'd gotten this on video. Kimball was being a little ham during dinner time, here are a few shots.

 

Midnight Thoughts

It's 1:00am as I begin typing this and I can't sleep. I should be able to as I've had about five cumulative hours of sleep within the last three days but my mind is racing so fast it just won't settle down. I have a lot to blog about: our ward's Trunk or Treat, Kimball's 2nd birthday, baby's delivery date, etc. but for now just a few thoughts to get out so I can sleep.

Today we met with the stake president right before church started to receive what we assumed was a calling for Lance. It was a calling for Lance but certainly not the one we had speculated. He was called to be the 2nd counselor in the bishopric. Wow. Shocking. Totally unexpected. After we met with President Lee for about 10 minutes we walked into sacrament meeting and Lance sat up on the stand. Weird. I think we're both still in shock. My immediate thoughts were, "Oh good, we really need the blessings. Oh good, we can get to know members of the ward much quicker. Oh good, at least one of us will have a calling and will get to serve in some capacity." Right now I'm totally thrilled, optimistic, and so looking forward to this added curve in our WA adventure. I'm sure in a week or month I will be complaining that Lance isn't home enough and I'm sick of sitting by myself with Kimball (and baby) at church. I really hope I don't turn that way. I'm going to support Lance any way that I can and support our ward any way that I can. I know it won't always be easy or convenient but since when is life either of those two things? I love this gospel and will try to help it along as I am able.

My only thought for today is that God really does work in mysterious ways. I don't see what He sees but I have faith that this is what's needed for our family and I have faith that this is what's best for us right now. I know Heavenly Father is so mindful of and loves his children, of that I do certainly know.

Fall Photos

Kimball and I went to the park this afternoon to take advantage of the nice weather while it's here. I also wanted to get a few pictures of him since he'll be 2 on Saturday. Holy cow! I had a hard time getting him to look up because of the sun but these are some of my favorites.

Out Of Patience

Here's my mug shot right before today's doctor appointment at 34 wk 5 days. Today's appointment went well with the perinatology, I have my favorite people in there. My Friday appointments at the regular OBGYN office I've really come to dislike. A lot. But I don't have many options at this point. Baby passed the NST and fluid test with flying colors today. She was being pretty photogenic and kept sticking her tongue out which we got several pictures of but I'm too tired to post them. She looks so much like Lance I can't believe it, I don't think anything of her is Pettingill. Just can't wait to get. her. out. and meet her. Seriously. The jig is up and I can't do this anymore. Come NOW please!?!

Love Sick

After reflecting on my last post I wondered, if my kids ever read this journal are they going to think they weren't wanted as a baby? And so I need to clarify a few things. Yes they are wanted! They were wanted as spirit children long before they were conceived. They were wanted as babies still in the womb. They were wanted as infants who deprived me of much needed sleep. They are wanted as toddlers. They are wanted as teenagers and adults, years down the road.

I love my children more than words can express! I have yet to meet baby #2 but I still love her. Yes, they were both planned. They were both thought about, discussed, fasted over, prayed over, and carefully planned. We anxiously anticipate(ed) their arrival and even more so with the complications they have/had during gestation.

And so baby girl, you are beyond wanted and needed and anticipated and loved! Your Daddy and I want you and love you now more than ever and have been fighting for you for so long. Don't ever question that. We will continue fighting for you and loving you.

It all comes with a heavy price tag (literally) and is a sacrifice. I mention sacrifice as a good thing because I wouldn't go through so much if I didn't want you, love you, or need you in my life. It's just a very big trial for me to endure so many months of physical and mental pain and strain.

Also, I want both of you kids to know that I love your Daddy. I love him very, very much!

Only Two? Who Knows

I know I say this at least ten times a day but I'm so beyond ready to get this baby out! Pregnancy is not kind to my body, it seems that whatever can go wrong does. Including the complications with the baby. Now, Lance and I have differing opinions on this because technically we haven't had any complications with her, as far as we know she's just small and all the "potential complications" she could have had, have resolved themselves. But my argument is that it doesn't matter because the doctors are still treating me like she does have complications. I guess it's different for him because he doesn't have to physically and mentally go through it. Since 32 weeks I've been going to the doctor twice a week. It's insanely annoying and a bit frustrating because I don't feel like I need the NST or fluid tests. But the doctors insist.

The hardest thing about this pregnancy has been dealing with it all psychologically. At 20 weeks I was so excited to find out it was a girl! But it was also the same appointment the baby showed four or five "soft markers" for genetic disorders or downs syndrome or CF and that we had to make a mad dash to Boise to figure out what was going on. At every doctors appointment since then the doctors end up changing their minds about the baby's "complications", change their minds about how to treat me, change their minds about how often I need to be monitored, etc. Every appointment something is different. Every appointment is a different doctor. Every appointment I have to explain my baby's development history. Every appointment the diagnosis' changes. Every appointment is simply frustrating.

That is the hardest to deal with mentally. The physical part is a whole different aspect of being pregnant. I know every pregnancy is different and every baby is different but I haven't had a normal pregnancy yet. Physically with me being so sick and with both babies having complications. I just don't know how many more times I can go through that. I know thinking about more children right now is crazy but I'm always trying to prepare for the future and I want to document this for my future self.

This pregnancy has been all about dealing with things mentally, and mentally I just can't do it again. I don't know if I can put my family through it again. I still feel guilty falling short of my duties as a wife and mother. I've definitely gotten better with it since I haven't been sick anymore, but I still fall short in many areas. My family deserves a mother and wife who is better than that, someone who can give and devote themselves 100%. It simply isn't fair to them.

I'm definitely a list making person. I love checking things off a to do list, it's almost therapeutic to draw that line, haha. And so when I plan my day and have these seemingly meaningless "projects" to pass my time until the baby comes (make cookies, make pumpkin chocolate chip bread, find a storage solution for baby's hair stuff, reupholster dining room chairs, bug bomb the house, clean up fabric stuff, etc.) what I'm really thinking to myself is, "Self, I'd really love nothing more than to go to the hospital and have this baby right now."

As horrible as it sounds, I'm still hoping she comes sooner rather than later. For my own sanity and for the safety and well being of my family.  :)  I have no other choice than to take it one day at a time and some days are worse than others but I press on. Kimball is a crazy cute distraction and keeps me on my toes. His favorite phrase now is "thank you" and it's the dang cutest thing! He always says it so soft and gentle and with a smile, it totally melts my heart.

Weekend Staycation

Lance left early this morning for Boise with Spokane's Pages of Harmony barbershop group. They're going to competition and despite my attempts to keep him home for those "what if" moments of having a baby, he decided to go with the group. The director really, really wanted him to go and even said if I have the baby then he'll personally pay to fly Lance home on the next flight. I felt ok about him going and don't suspect anything to happen while he's gone. *crossing fingers*

I went to my doctor's appointment this morning by myself. It was just another NST and I'm finding a dreaded trend with this stubborn baby girl. She's always very active but whenever she's on the monitor, she becomes quite bashful. No movement or excitement from her means I have to stay hooked up longer. My 30 minute appointment ended up being 1.5 hours. It was quite boring.

I decided with Lance out of town I'd loosen up as a mom and treat this weekend as a stay at home vacation. So Kimball and I enjoyed a Papa Murphy's pizza and a peach Fresca tonight. The soda is usually Lance's treat and he doesn't share very often so it was quite the occasion that we got to share a can. :) Kimball loved it. And I let him stay up late because he was just playing so good and had lots of energy. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the Fresca, haha.

Girlie Goodness

Last week I got on a kick of sewing and have been trying to finish up projects here and there. I decided to make a bigger, heavier crib quilt than the elephant blanket I made for the baby. The winters are cold and I needed a project so I set out to buy this fabric. The strip quilt is the only blankets/quilt I've ever made so I decided not to complicate things since I don't have mom here to rescue me. The top is all cotton and the back piece is the plush faux fur. I always thought it looked like roses not fur and I love all the bright colors.

 Here are my strips all cut and ready to be sewn.

And here is the finished quilt. There are puckers and some crooked lines and other mistakes but it isn't bad for my first actual quilt. (I can't turn the pictures and I'm too tired to figure it out right now).

Feeling Loved

I'm so lucky I got two packages in the mail today from home. One was from Mom that contained Kimball's birthday present, a preemie outfit complete with booties, hats, blanket, and onesie, and the cutest July 4th dress for next year! It's so darling! When I saw Kimball's present I showed it to him and said, "Look Kimball! Grandma sent you a birthday present!" with lots of enthusiasm and he immediately tried for the first time ever to say Grandma. It sounded like "Mammaw" and was so cute.

Today I got a package from Christine! She made a bunch of adorable little bow and flower clips which is awesome because I have nothing for Baby Girl's hair, not even a headband which she sent me a pack of three of those. She also sent four outfits and a jar of cookie mix because she knows how much I love cookie dough. Which couldn't have come at a better time now that my toffee is almost gone. Guess what I'll be making tomorrow?! And since I need a new project to help pass the next six weeks, I can figure out how I'm going to store the clips and headbands and other hair accessories.

THANK YOU MOM AND CHRISTINE!!!!!

So Addictive

I made a batch of this Chocolate Saltine Toffee on Monday (I'll forever be grateful to Shawn Arrington for introducing me to this heavenly stuff). It is now Thursday and consequently the toffee is almost gone. Don't judge. I'm 8.5 months pregnant.